Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
