You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
