i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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