people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
