11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
