Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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