It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
