Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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