I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize