Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
