i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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