Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
