I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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