Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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