remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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