He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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