This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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