You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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