Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well you can't waste a boner
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
