Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We need to get me chipped asap
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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