Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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