I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
