just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Vodka?
Forever.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
