Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Randomize
