Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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