Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
