god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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