some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
