Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
