IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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