know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
