Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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