is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
