If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Shame - the story of my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
