i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
