Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
