brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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