it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pooping to opera.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
