dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
