i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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