I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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