he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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