so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
