There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
