heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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