Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
