Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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