Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize