She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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