it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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