just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
