You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
