Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My vagina is very pro this idea
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
