I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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