she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
