I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
