i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
