They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
