I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize