So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
