I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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