Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How does one acquire holy water?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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