My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
