I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
